The GFE or else Co-creating the Experience

emotional authenticity

Written by Oona Leigh

So happy to welcome you again to Oona’s regularly…

As I casually hinted before this blog will seek to shed light on the GFE short for Girlfriend Experience (or Good Faith Estimate for realtors, but now, “let’s talk about sex, baby….”)

This blog will slightly differ from my previous ones in terms of methodology and style. It will include resources from articles as well as my own insights to try to look deep into (hm…I like things deep into…:)) what the GFE really is.

So, let’s dive in.

As I see it the slang acronym GFE is self explanatory in some ways and in my humble opinion massively overused, almost obsolete. Nearly all girls out there have it on their „service list” amongst other explicit acronyms….. is the GFE simply a marketable buzzword meant to bump up costs? 

Or is it really „ a commercial experience that blurs the boundaries between financial transaction and a romantic relationship”.

„..where what is sold is a manufactured authenticity that tries to simulate being a girlfriend, namely a genuine desire and pleasure for a client who often seeks a ‘real’ and reciprocal albeit delimited sexual connection. The main distinguishing characteristic is that emotional authenticity is explicitly brought into the economic contract.” – /Bernstein, E. 2007/

Elizabeth Bernstein conducted numerous studies and researches, wrote books on the sex industry, she knows her stuff….The only person who knows better is a real GFE provider…A high-class companion, like me. There are things I agree and things I disagree with her argument ….I am particularly fond of the expressions „genuine desire”, „emotional authenticity” and „reciprocal connection” she uses. Less fond of the „manufactured authenticity that tries to simulate”.

Although she is not all wrong (after all we all know the name of the game), I am honest when I say I am authentically myself, meaning the care, consideration and passion is real, not fabricated or faked. There is no aim or agenda.

Using Bernstein words plus adding another item to the list, I think I can put my finger on what exactly comprises the components of the GFE. (..and dear Sir, I know where you could put your finger…and between).

So, here we go:

1. „emotional authenticity”

The psychology behind GFE is fascinating, as it taps into the fundamental human need for intimacy. We crave connection and affection. I want to feel adored and made feel gorgeous and I am very generous to give it back and make you feel special, appreciated, listened to and loved. Therefore there is not a standard format for a date really, each and every date is different and special. 

those who already know me know that I am real. I am not afraid to share my genuine thoughts, feelings, and experiences, even if they make me feel vulnerable. I cherish the friendship I share with You.

I am fully engaged in every meeting and also happy to invest my time and care into responding to mails in a heartfelt manner. (also into my blogs!!!) I never use generic or automated responses. I also dont use filters on my photos…except for the professional pics. 

I give myself…and I expect you to do the same, The Girlfriend Experience is about mutual enjoyment of each other’s company where a genuine intimate connection is created.

The emphasis is on the emotional and hedonic aspects of the encounters, rather than on the explicitly sexual nature of it. 

„sex is better with feelings; 

„otherwise I might as well be doing a couch!’’ 

‘‘less mechanical, and feel like dating…with the certainty of the outcome.”

The GFE or else Co-creating the Experience

2. „reciprocal connection” (co-creating the experience)

A date with a GFE escort necessarily entails pleasure on both sides as the two of us form an emotional connection.  Pleasure on the physical, emotional or intellectual plane is what it is all about. I don’t fake it. When we meet, you can stay assured that I am attracted to you…You have made the effort to make me feel special, aroused my interest with your generous words, compliments, treating me like the lady of your dreams. You rub me the right way and I am by nature very very generous to give back. You give me the illusion of passion, I am with you because at that particular moment there is nowhere else I would rather be.

Deriving value – in the form of emotional and physical pleasure – from the GFE requires the john to give more than money. The co-creation of value hinges on the consumer functioning as a co-producer of the service…” – /Aimee Dinnín Huff/

It is a game for two… A love game that we both play and win. (😊)… We become uncomplicated accomplices… let’s play some more!

3. „No drama”

Sometimes guys joke that ‘‘real’’ girlfriends are nothing like GFE. You get the benefits of having a romantic girlfriend without ‘‘all the drama:’’ No strings attached. No ever-occuring headaches…No continuous complains about feeling fat, you not noticing a new haircut, or missing an anniversary because the World Cup Final took place that day.

Even before our limbs are entangled beneath the sheets (because I’m ever so sensitive to the cold) think of how it feels to speak to someone who does listen but has no stakes in whatever you are talking about. There’s a freedom in it. Consider your deepest secret. Now, consider everyone you’d tell it to. Mostly, you’ll come up with a list of confidantes you trust because you’ve known them for so long. But if they’ve been around that long, they most certainly know many of the people who constitute your social and familial network. So are they really the best people to talk to? 

Tt’s not just that by nature I am a really good  conversationalist but that I have no stakes in whatever you’re talking about. The conversation is in a safe space. It is natural and uncomplicated. 

As you can see, my Dear Reader, I am in my element writing about the topic. I could probably do thousand more pages but instead why don’t we let ourselves live the experience rather than talk about it and play the love game? Shall we?

„..Here is your harmony
Here is your friend
Kindred spirit of ethereal blend
Meet me on a cloud
Go on a journey, sure
I’ll take your body on a mystery tour”

/ East 17/


Huff, Aimee. (2011). Buying the Girlfriend Experience: An Exploration of the Consumption Experiences of Male Customers of Escorts. Research in Consumer Behavior. 13. 111-126. 10.1108/S0885-2111(2011)0000013010.